Am I Working Hard Enough
If you’re within ten years of my vintage you’re no stranger to hard work. We had to work to get everything we wanted. I’ve had a bit of a hard run so I didn’t end up getting a degree or qualification until much later in life so my early life involved working several jobs at once to pay down debt and keep a roof over my head. It was what was needed and I just did it.
Similarly when raising the babies, I did what I had to do. I lost my husband about 14 years ago so it’s just been me responsible for the money and the kids emotional and physical health. When they were in bed, I was working until eventually I had to go and get a job.
This was the period I undertook my Masters degree so I was travelling to work for an hour each way on a bus and doing my masters on the commute with the occasional weekend writing essays. When I got home it was kids stuff, dinner, homework, emotional care, hanging out with them. Then rinse and repeat the next day. Weekends were a blur of activities and meal prep for the week and then – start again.
All of a sudden my kids are all grown and I could finally do what I wanted and I bought a business. I was working 14-16 hours a day 7 days a week and I loved it. The business failed but I still loved it. I was the happiest I had ever been in my life until it failed.
So now I have my plan but I don’t feel I’m working anywhere near hard enough to get it done. My job is 4 days a week which I love because that gives me 3 days a week of clear headspace to dedicate to my various projects. I get up about 4.00am every day and write or list on ebay before I have to go to work, work for 8 hours, then by the evening I’m finding I just don’t have anything left to get back to writing or listing. I feel like I should be doing more.
On the days that I have free, sometimes I just get frozen. Yesterday was a big day for me. I uploaded the first video to Youtube and I will continue to do those for each post, but it took FOREVER just to upload. I just felt like I couldn’t move onto anything else until that was done. Plus I had a total meltdown regarding my confidence – again.
Confidence, for me, ebbs and flows. As I listen to more people it’s a common theme – it’s not just me. I think it’s especially so for writers because we don’t necessarily get any immediate feedback and we spend an inordinate amount of time in our own heads. Even when we’re writing it’s coming from my head to the page and I have no idea if it’s even any good.
I spoke about how exhausting writing can be for me here, even though when it flows, it’s like a fire hose. I feel guilty when I rest. I feel like I should be writing more. I have lists of article topics so when I can’t think of what to write I just go to the list and start writing on the topic I’ve researched. That’s been great for me as I don’t get stuck or writer’s block.
I feel guilty if I rest. I’m broke. Flat broke. Actually minus broke. I feel like I can’t rest until I get myself out of it but at the same time, I get tired and am unable to do everything I have listed to do that day.
I have my goals on a piece of paper that I read every single morning and every single time I’m sitting down to write or play on the internet. I read them several times a day and then I write, knowing that my goal is where I’m heading. Failure is not an option.
So what I’ve said to myself to keep pushing myself forward is this. If I were one of my own clients, would I get it done? Would I stay up until midnight to meet a deadline for someone else? The answer is yes. I would and I have. So I’m not taking tired as an excuse anymore. I’m going to keep writing more and more. I’m going to 10x my effort. One article a day per site is just not enough if I want to achieve my 10 year goal in 6 months. I have to do at least 5 per day per site and then upload the videos as well.
If I work really, really hard for the next 6 months I should get close to my goals.
So I’m going to ask you to consider this. If you were one of your clients, or doing a task for your boss, would you get it done?
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