I’m Jumping Off Another Bridge
Today I’m going to jump – again. I’ve been preparing for this jump for a while, in my head, but today I’m taking my body there as well and actually going to do it.
Don’t worry this is a theoretical bridge – a mind bridge – something that has been holding me back.
After losing everything, it’s easy to become paralysed. I was scared to actually try anything because of course, it’s going to fail right? Everything I knew I knew turned out not to be right and I failed in my business. How can I trust my judgement again?
I can’t.
Well, I couldn’t.
If what I thought I knew wasn’t right, what did I find instead? That was the key for me. What did I find out to be true? A lot it turns out. A whole lot.
I needed to sit back, truly evaluate what had happened, LEARN from it. Change my judgement on just about EVERYTHING.
It turns out, I can live fairly frugally, which I had been doing anyway as part of my master plan. My knee jerk reaction to losing everything was to get a job – and fast – to keep the roof over my head. Keeping the roof over my head is still a priority, but getting a job – not so much. Why had I gone into business in the first place? Because I don’t believe in working for someone else. If you’re going to work, work hard for yourself not for some else’s benefit. I haven’t been in traditional paid employment for over 6 years now and I’m doing OK. All right so I’m broke at the moment, but that’s what happens when you work for yourself. You have good years and bad years, and this, is a very bad year.
But all is not lost.
I’m writing like a demon possessed because I have to get it all on paper, really for no-one else but me right now.
I’m studying another degree, because I fucking love studying. This time it’s Law and Criminology, which were my original passions in life, and now I’m returning to them, because I’m on the second half of life now and who knows? So let’s do the stuff that really means something to me.
The bridge I’m jumping off? It’s another business idea and it’s going to require my rent money. I’m crazy scared about this. If it doesn’t work I won’t have rent. And that is bad. We all know that.
Why am I risking my rent money? Because I don’t know what I don’t know. When I knew what I knew, turned out really bad. I’ve realised I don’t know what I don’t know so I’m investing in something to hopefully show me what I don’t know so I can get to where I want to be.
My financial goals are actually quite modest. I want $1.7m in the bank. I really only need $1.25M to live comfortably but the extra $500K is for a house to purchase, maybe. The jury in my head is still deliberating this, but I’d like to give them the option.
The next tier to that overarching goal is $200 a day. That’s all. Not much really in the scheme of the world. If I can boost this to $1000 a day I’m golden. I know where I’m putting the money and what I’m doing with it once I have it, so that’s half the battle. It’s getting it that is the other half.
I don’t know what I don’t know. So I’m going to find out. It requires a huge jump and I’m taking it. More from the other side soon (I hope) if I survive.
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