Persistent Determination | I Get Up Every Day
I watch a lot of Youtube. I watch a lot of self help, self improvement, entrepreneurship, business, finance and retirement videos. I feel like a total failure when I watch these things but I watch them anyway, hoping for one phrase or piece of advice that will help me through the day, through my life, to make it all better. Sometimes I get something that makes me think, but mostly it plays in the background and makes me feel less lonely as I write.
It honestly makes me feel like I’m nothing. I am not achieving anything. I am not a great human who will be remembered in history.
I am just the person who against all odds in her life, continues to get up everyday and try.
That’s all I am. That’s who I am.
I haven’t given up yet even though I should have. Many times.
I get up every day and I have hope for each day. I have hope that today will be the day that my writing takes me somewhere. Today I will write a piece that resonates. Today I will find out how my chapter and book ends or get closer to it anyway.
I get up every day hoping that I don’t die today because I still have so much to do. I am conscious of this I think because I woke up one morning and my brother was dead and I was just talking to him last night and we had plans for the day and boom – all over. So I know, inherently and through experience, that today is not a guarantee.
I also know having been told half way through a day that my sister had died, that your day can change instantly and also your life. In one single moment.
We don’t know where or when that moment will come but if you haven’t had one yet, it’s coming. We all have them.
I get up every day thinking that I may be able to give some advice to someone, or tell someone something they need to hear today. I don’t know my purpose in life. I don’t know what my passion is. I don’t know why I’m here.
I have some ideas, but I don’t know for sure. No-one does for sure. It’s all just ideas.
But some ideas resonate and I hold them firmly in my heart as my beliefs, and I get up every day living with intention to those beliefs.
Today might be the day I win. Today might be the day that something else bad happens – there is still lots that can go wrong but I’m hoping that I’ve had my share for this life time.
I get up everyday so glad to see my puppies have survived the night. To drink cool water to rehydrate myself. To come to the computer and write because the wonderful technology is available to me.
I marvel at the world I am in every day and that I get to play in it today.
I may die a pauper.
I get up every day anyway because you never know what today holds. You never know who you will meet. You never know how your life can change in one day.
I live n a state of perpetual hope. Sometimes it gets shattered and I lose all hope.
But I go to sleep and wake up and get up again. Maybe feeling a little less hopeful than yesterday. But I’ll see a bird or a gecko and remember how unbelievable it all is.
This may be naive and frivolous but it is these notions that have kept me going through a lot of bad things. It’s all for a reason though I haven’t found it yet. I have a higher purpose although I don’t know what that is either. I just keep getting up in pure blind faith because you never know what today will bring.
I am just so grateful that I have woken up today and I get to see what happens.
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